10 things that are worse than the Ilya Kovalchuk mess

• The Office
• Writing an essay on Ayn Rand to get an academic scholarship
• Chocolate pelicans, though one can apparently buy their poop now?
• Dealing with idiots
• Puppy mills
• Guns 'n Roses' fifth album
• Unemployment
• Cancer
• Mike Green
• Trying to think of ten things worse than Ilya Kovalchuk playing with your emotions

Side note: I went to college with a girl named Ilya. Girl. Named Ilya.