Wednesday, September 30, 2009

In case you had any doubt...

LA Kings fans can get pretty loud. I would say crazy, but chanting "You suck!" at the 27 Avalanche fans who showed up isn't really all that interesting. In spite of the free drinks I found that I did not need to be drunk for this game. The MGM Grand Arena isn't all that grand so I guess the free drinks kept me from noticing that my ass hurt.

That "special surprise" at 1:14 tried to start a fight with me in the food court. Which was pretty hilarious. I'm guessing the combined weight of those two is 160 lbs. A nice gentleman behind me in line remarked about how they needed to eat, and then talked to me about offsides and cherry picking in the NHL. He was a Vegas resident from the Midwest who did not know that Las Vegas has their own ECHL team. The Wranglers who play at The Orleans, off the strip. A very nice hotel. I have no idea with whom The Vegas Wranglers are affiliated, but their mascot looks like he was made of spare parts from the mascot box:

It was a magical night of free liquor, people wandering around in Kings jerseys and t-shirts, and more free booze.

List of random opinions and shit I made up for Frozen Fury XII:
  • Ivanans was not on the ice. Most likely because he is busy staging a coup on Latvia.
  • Wayne Simmonds is still a generic white player in NHL2K10. They can't go to the extra effort of putting a tint on the skin to make a generic black player?
  • Colorado fans are sick bastards who want players exposed to pathogens (See Wayne Simmonds beating the hell out of some Avs player).
  • Kyle Quincey did not look happy to be in an Avalanche uniform. Is Denver like Pittsburgh when it comes to women? I still love you anyways, Quincey.
  • Bailey made his preseason return. He was recently at some LA mascot thing I saw on TV. All the others were pretty tame compared to Bailey, who was going apeshit. We love you, Bailey.
  • Poker tournaments are boring if you aren't one of the players. Unless you're the kind of person who gets excited by famous people. Eh. Maybe I've been in LA too long for that.
  • Clubs in Vegas are much worse than those in LA. There are even more drunk, dirty people looking to get laid. I had to scrub myself when I got back to my hotel room alone.
  • Ellen Page does not look like she belongs in roller derby. She would have to gain about 30 lbs. of muscle, and even then I think the LA Derby Dolls could mop the floor with her.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Back in LA, just in time

...what day is it? It's still Monday for another half hour. Oh right, and I haven't written on this thing in a month. The Swarles has been sick as a dog. Luckily for me I was not sick in time for the games on Tuesday and Saturday.

Some thoughts from Saturday:
-Kyle Calder as a Duck is hilarious. I guess he didn't have to move far to continue to waste space.
-Stupid Sexy Jonathan Bernier is really fighting for a spot in the big kids' club.
-I am never sitting in a certain area of a certain section again. The price was good because the STH around us couldn't shut up and watch the game!
-I witnessed the most intellectual fight the NHL has ever seen. George Parros v. Kevin Westgarth. Were they arguing over whose IQ is higher or string theory? ...or Kevin was hungry and he saw some fresh duck.
-I looked Brayden Schenn in the eyes, and my underwear melted. Luckily I was wearing black shoes. What is the black market value for Schenn babies in Canada?
-Ryan Smyth's mullet is a majestic thing of beauty. It almost rivals Jim Fox as the cure for cancer.

Frozen Fury is this Saturday! Vegas, baby, Vegas!

I'm off to study Russian so I can recite Andrei Voznesensky to my sweet, sweet Fro-love in his native tongue. Not really. Two alphabets is enough for me.