Goodbye: Those Other Guys

Fredrik Modin: "Modin doesn't watch the replays. Modin knows he scored." I don't really remember ever listening to you talk. You scored goals in the playoffs, so that's really going to suck expecting these other guys to be able to score on the 5-on-5 in the playoffs next year. So I hope they watched carefully.



If you had stayed around longer I would have written to be something like The Most Interesting Man in the World. I don't even know why. You look more like Drunk Hulk.



Jeff Halpern: I decided I want to you stay. Only so I can post this picture every week.

Oops. Wrong Randy Jones.

At first you confused us. Another guy from Philly? Then you excited us. You scored some goals when the team was down a few guys (Ryan Smyth and Rob Scuderi). Then, you forgot that stuff. Then you forgot the defense part of your job. Then you got whiplash. Then, well, more of that stuff I mentioned before.



You restored my confidence in Peter Harrold. Thank you.

Goodbye: Raitis Ivanans

Some people might be saying "Good riddance" to Raitis Ivanans, but I'm not one of those people. Much like the food chain, hockey needs it's big scary things that keep the smaller ones in line. You, Raitis, are one of those big scary things, what with your biceps being bigger than your head and all.

Some of us make coffee, some sell drugs, others deal with idiots all day. You fight. You also spit and swear, and anyone who gets paid to fight and swear while wearing ice skates is OK in my book. I'm not so big on the spitting, but it is a necessary evil.



So now I'm left wondering what big scary dude will be stepping in the enforcer role here in LA. Who will take the team to see Billy Elliot when they're in New York?!

That other Russian guy that isn't Frolov told through LOLcats

Filler Friday: Out the ROFLbot

(Bad Saturday Night Live skits, anyone?)












...and Anze Kopitar's secret victory dance.

Filler Friday: LOLkings

I'm going on vacation. Here's an early Filler Friday.

Catching up with Justin Williams

Partially inspired by Fake Brian Burke and Your Christmas Tree.

Click on it for more!

LOLKings prozac

(Warning: Increased thoughts of suicide is one of the many side-effects of Prozac)

Ducks: Still non-scariest team name ever.

(also to be known as McSwarley’s salute to Conan O’Brien)

Before everyone tells me that Americans like myself have fucked up priorities because I care more about Conan O'Brien and the LA Kings than foreign disasters… AmeriCares uses 99% of all money donated to them for humanitarian aid. Before you text the Red Cross* because it’s so easy, consider that fact.

Kings 4 – Ducks 0 – Wayne Simmonds 3

One goal and two fights for Wayne Simmonds in one night. Sadly, he will have to keep trying for that Gordie Howe hat trick. Actually, I’m pretty sure he got one in Edmonton last year.

Ryan Smith also managed to get another penalty while still in the penalty box. For his mullet being too awesome. Now that’s talent!

Towards the end of the game the Ducks were so frustrated we weren’t sure if there really were that many penalties happening at once, or if the screen was broken. What was really going in those penalty boxes? Besides Ryan Getzlaf reading an Elmo book…

Three Kings, one burger.

Not that anyone outside of California was watching this game, but I think this may confuse people into thinking that we actually use subways here. Oh we have them, but mostly for the novelty value.

Hiller may be wearing orange, but since the Ducks are all things wrong in the world, I can assure you he is not on Team Conan.

Jonas Hiller: NHL goaltender, or ‘80s pop star?

I made this for no reason.

OK, I made it so I could post this.

If you weren’t already pissed about the Bobby Ryan hit on Oscar Moller, you’re welcome. Oscar, you're a champ for standing up for yourself after a hit that very well could have broken your neck. Brownie points to Drew Doughty and Brad Richardson for standing up for their Swede.

*McSwarley encourages donating blood through the Red Cross. You never know when Justin Williams, or one of Wayne Simmonds’ victims may need it.