Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Ducks: Still non-scariest team name ever.

(also to be known as McSwarley’s salute to Conan O’Brien)

Before everyone tells me that Americans like myself have fucked up priorities because I care more about Conan O'Brien and the LA Kings than foreign disasters… AmeriCares uses 99% of all money donated to them for humanitarian aid. Before you text the Red Cross* because it’s so easy, consider that fact.

Kings 4 – Ducks 0 – Wayne Simmonds 3

One goal and two fights for Wayne Simmonds in one night. Sadly, he will have to keep trying for that Gordie Howe hat trick. Actually, I’m pretty sure he got one in Edmonton last year.

Ryan Smith also managed to get another penalty while still in the penalty box. For his mullet being too awesome. Now that’s talent!

Towards the end of the game the Ducks were so frustrated we weren’t sure if there really were that many penalties happening at once, or if the screen was broken. What was really going in those penalty boxes? Besides Ryan Getzlaf reading an Elmo book…

Three Kings, one burger.

Not that anyone outside of California was watching this game, but I think this may confuse people into thinking that we actually use subways here. Oh we have them, but mostly for the novelty value.

Hiller may be wearing orange, but since the Ducks are all things wrong in the world, I can assure you he is not on Team Conan.

Jonas Hiller: NHL goaltender, or ‘80s pop star?

I made this for no reason.

OK, I made it so I could post this.

If you weren’t already pissed about the Bobby Ryan hit on Oscar Moller, you’re welcome. Oscar, you're a champ for standing up for yourself after a hit that very well could have broken your neck. Brownie points to Drew Doughty and Brad Richardson for standing up for their Swede.

*McSwarley encourages donating blood through the Red Cross. You never know when Justin Williams, or one of Wayne Simmonds’ victims may need it.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Человек многих лиц

In an effort help Andrei Loktionov learn English while he his rehabbing, the Kings staff have made a chart of Terry Murray demonstrating various emotions so he can speak to the media about the disappointment of getting a shoulder injury in his first NHL game. Not unlike the posters I remember seeing in my high school Spanish class… except my Spanish teacher also taught German so we had a poster of Jim Varney exhibiting sad in Deustch.