Primer for writing about Los Angeles and hockey

One of those things that screams "This journalist knows nothing about LA!" is using Los Angeles and Hollywood interchangeably. Hollywood is a neighborhood within Los Angeles. Think of it like how SoHo is a neighborhood in Manhattan or Lake View in Chicago. The only hockey player I know of with a house in Hollywood is Sean Avery who has a house in the Hollywood Hills. They're one of those many groups of hills around here that are always catching on fire. I don't even know if Avery still owns that house. Most of the Kings players live pretty far from Hollywood around Hermosa and Manhattan Beaches.

I have slept through earthquakes. I think 60° F is cold. I'm a native Southern Californian, and I've lived in LA for about seven years; but I have yet to find this mythical "Tinsel Town" place you people keep talking about. I can recite some really obscure bits of LA history, tell you how to avoid traffic around the Westside, and find the parking meter Gary Busey had an affair with, but no fucking Tinsel Town.

Hollywood is pink on purpose.*

• It does rain in Los Angeles.
• Areas of the Angeles National forest do get snow.
• We have many ice rinks. Youth and rec hockey are alive and well here.
• You can blame Orange County (and the Ducks) for soccer moms.
• Los Angeles is in Los Angeles County. Anaheim is in Orange County. Just because their baseball team changed their name doesn't make them any less not LA.
  
• Yes, there are a lot of distractions here, which is probably why we are able to do things besides watch hockey. I don't know what, but supposedly it's possible.
• Part of why hockey players are able to lead normal lives here is because being around celebrities eventually leads to apathy. We see them, we just don't care. Personally, I don't bother people when they are out grocery shopping, having dinner with the family, or walking their dogs because that would piss me off.
• I fucking hate the Lakers.

*from losangelesmap.org

Obligatory Jeremy Roenick Post

Top 10 pop culture moments in JR's career

Roenick's time in L.A. brought out the vaudevillian in him, as he entertained the crowd during a preseason game with this dazzling display of dance. Seriously, we hadn't seen disco moves like this since that bar scene in "Airplane!"

See Ya Later Roenick

When he arrived in Los Angeles, we only got more of the same. He complained that his lack of productivity was because of a skate problem and he showed up out of shape. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he said that his horrible play was his payback for the lockout. You’d think that he was done, but he wasn’t—he just took the Kings money and ran.

Matthew Barry has no love for JR

Then he blamed his skates. He continuously fell down like a weeble and would blame his blades, or the cut in the blade, or the equipment manager who didn't know how to sharpen his skates.

There you go. This Kings fan wants my money back that I spent on games during Roenick's stint in Los Angeles. Lucky for you, JR, it's not much since your season with the Kings was during my senior year of college. Having eight classes in one semester distracted me from your complete suckage... most of the time.



Apparently our dear Jeremy also has a porn actor look alike and likes to crash weddings and steal things. I don't really believe JR has really been stealing things from weddings, but it is funny to think about.

It takes a special man to be disliked more than Sean Avery. For the record, I'd rather read Avery's blog. I'll bet he knows what shoes are going to be in for fall.

One of these things just doesn't belong

Ten bucks says one of the interns in LA did the copy. I was looking for the segment Avery did on Cribs, but there were no complete videos to be found. I did find one, that I guess was cut, about Seany boy being a clean freak.