Thursday, December 17, 2009

Two, almost three months.

I haven’t posted since the start of the actual season.

I have two words: Fucking. Awesome.

Now the not so awesome: Williams, Stoll, Scuderi, and have all been out with injuries. Smyth is still out with one of those mysterious upper body injuries. Or was it lower? A friend of mine was listed with an upper body injury when another player busted his nose. I guess “broken nose” was too specific. We’ve seen Smyth, and his ugly mug looks pretty much the same.

Oh yeah, Stoll is screwing MILFs out, again. Fake Chris Kontos at The Royal Half also pointed out that you can’t spell Johnson without the “S.”

Jack in happier times.
Photo by Michael Zampelli of

My Fro-love has finally picked up the slack. I think. After Deano threatened to ship him to Edmonton. Since Dean Lombardi kind of looks like my uncle, I can say with false confidence that Deano knows a guy who knows a guy who can straighten out any conflicts. Just sayin’.

Randy Jones is out? Shit. Can’t spell Jones with the “S,” either.

I’m going to refrain from making predictions about any other players. After the Calgary game tonight they have eight days off. No doubt the majority of them will stay in Canada, and feast upon Timbits and poutine. While a few Americans fly back to the States, and… do they celebrate Christmas in where ever the hell Ivanans is from?

Small children are traditional Latvian Christmas dish.
Photo from this guy.

Wayne Simmonds is out with a torn meniscus. Some would argue, me included, that Simmonds brings a lot of heart to the team. I think six-weeks without Simmonds will make anyone skeptical of why we’re so crazy about him finally understand. I had the same surgery about ten years ago, and it’s not a huge threat to his health. I think it took me less than four-weeks to get off the crutches. The threat to the Kings, however, is grim.

Even without Simmonds and Smyth these guys have managed to claw their way up to the top of the Western Conference. Seriously. Look:

On a side note, I've been a regular at the Tuesday night chats [because I have no life and nothing to do at work, usually] at Barry Melrose Rocks. If you haven't checked out their site, you should. If I get ambitious I'll probably start writing bad fan fiction about Drew Doughty using Matt Greene's dog to pick up college sluts girls at Sharkeez.

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