Tuesday, February 9, 2010

McSwarley Goes Behind the Orange Curtain

It only looks like a short walk before you know Anaheim's crime-rate outside the immediate Disneyland area.

Last night I braved the Metrolink for the first time ever to go see a game at The Pond Puddle Ponda Honda Center. Now, I’ve been to The Ponda to see the Kings play the Ducks before, but that was more than ten years ago. I always felt like the place was sterile compared to the stinky, smelly magic that was The Great Western Forum. Now, as an adult, I’m pissed I didn’t have anywhere to put my liquor! Perhaps this is why people always seemed drunker at the Ponda.

The ratio of Kings to Ducks fans was pretty even. Even if they aren't wearing a jersey, Ducks fans are easy to identify with their khaki pants. Usually with a polo or some other kind of buttoned shirt tucked into their pants. Every day is a safari in Orange County! The men are also more likely to dye their hair, or even that blonde tips thing that was popular so popular ten years ago (I’m looking at you, Kyle Quincey!).

I must have a certain look that the opposing teams’ fans think: “I want to argue with that person!”

  • No, Sean O'Donnell was not a Duck first.
  • No, Sean O'Donnell played his first NHL game with the Kings in the 90s.
  • Sean O'Donnell has played more than 500 games as a King now (the exact total is 518 regular season games, and 8 post-season games). Yes, I know there are only 82 games in a season. Can you tell me how many games used to be in a regular NHL season? (the answer is 84)

Check out this outdated and therefore hilarious OD fan page! So that’s his ex-wife’s name.

This is the reason I hate Emilio Estevez (not really, but it would be a good reason).

I was the age group they were targeted towards when the Mighty Ducks movies were first released. Saw the first two for some kid's birthday. Can you imagine being the only kid who knew a damn thing about hockey when those movies were released? “Cake eater” is not a hockey term. It never has been. Thanks to the internet, I now know that is a Minnesotan colloquialism for a rich person from Edina.

The game? Well, the Kings’ winning streak had to end eventually, but of course we’re all pissed it was against the Ducks. Two more home games before the Olympic break. Two game winning streak… please?

Also, I have spooky voodoo memory powers!


Chris Kontos said...

Angelfire FTW!!! Sweet fan site, I should consider making a similar one for Moller.

And yes, your knowledge of 90's 5th round draft picks is quite impressive.

Anonymous said...


McSwarley said...

@Chris Kontos: I'm sure there were some slices of fried gold on Geocities before it went down.

@WeirdChineseSomething: Thanks. I'm always looking for new ways to give my readers a virus.