Saturday, March 6, 2010

Goodbye: Teddy Purcell

Well, Teddy, that time has come. We knew you were going to get traded. You were taking up too much room in the press box and we need that for shiny things to entertain Raitis Ivanans, and Davis Drewiske's hair products. You're already in Tampa* (Sorry). Located on America's wang (Sorry). Maybe you'll get your groove back there. Maybe you'll even be able to play a bottom-six winger consistently. Maybe you'll turn out to be another Matt Moulson, but signs point to no.

Something Teddy really isn't used to anymore.

We here in LA have put together some useful tips to help ease your transition.
  • Your teammates will really like the new guy better if you have an identity. We don't really know what it means, but we think Matt Greene was saying you have no personality.
  • Florida is a Spring Break hot spot, but don't let that fool you. Always ask for proof of age. Especially since only the poor kids would go to a dump like Tampa.
  • Practice your golf swing. I hope you listened to Brad Richardson.

Teddy, as we'll always remember him.

*As someone who has been to Tampa several times (stupid family) I can vouch for it's suckage.

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