Filler Friday: LOLkings

I'm going on vacation. Here's an early Filler Friday.

Filler Friday: File Under "Things That Make No Sense"

Various screenshot of hockey related-things around the internet that just make no sense.

Currently 13th in the Western Conference at 30 -28 - 8 after 66 games.

That's 68 points. In 66 games. And that probably won't even get them a top 5 draft pick this year.

I just don't like this. It just sounds wrong.

I'll bet they were talking about his clothes.

Yoinked from Don We Now Our Gay Apparel.

Also, the little slash thing is now an inverted question mark.

Goodbye: Teddy Purcell

Well, Teddy, that time has come. We knew you were going to get traded. You were taking up too much room in the press box and we need that for shiny things to entertain Raitis Ivanans, and Davis Drewiske's hair products. You're already in Tampa* (Sorry). Located on America's wang (Sorry). Maybe you'll get your groove back there. Maybe you'll even be able to play a bottom-six winger consistently. Maybe you'll turn out to be another Matt Moulson, but signs point to no.

Something Teddy really isn't used to anymore.

We here in LA have put together some useful tips to help ease your transition.

• Your teammates will really like the new guy better if you have an identity. We don't really know what it means, but we think Matt Greene was saying you have no personality.
• Florida is a Spring Break hot spot, but don't let that fool you. Always ask for proof of age. Especially since only the poor kids would go to a dump like Tampa.
• Practice your golf swing. I hope you listened to Brad Richardson.

Teddy, as we'll always remember him.

*As someone who has been to Tampa several times (stupid family) I can vouch for it's suckage.

Filler Friday: Pants, pants, and more pants!

Observe, the pants of the Norwegian Men's curling team!

Now, that pattern may look familiar to some of you. Not just because it's argyle, but because LA Kings alternate captain Matt Greene has been seen wearing the green version of these.

I apologize if one of those stupid Carl's Jr commercials shows up.

He learned it from the interwebs.

Also, check out the awesome alligator belt buckle.

If all you see is crotch, that's your problem.

Unfortunately for Matt Greene they were not available in UND.

...but there is a UND hockey stick golf putter thing:

(also available in LA Kings and Minnesota North Stars)

Just like Happy Gilmore!

I can see Matt Greene in these:

Trade Times!

(Teddy Purcell, Alex Frolov, and Jack Johnson)

Teddy Purcell was traded for this dude:

Seriously, there is already a photo of him in the Kings jersey up on the site. Go look for yourself. A faceoff guy will fit-in nicely when Jarret Stoll's junk goes out of whack. Again. UPDATE: Kwisp has a post about the nice copy and paste job from the Kings staffers.

There were some slices of fried gold on the Battle of California post about Lubo going to the Quacks. My favorite: You may own his body, but you don’t own his heart.

The Lubo cookies will make you feel better.

This may be the single greatest thing I have accomplished in five minutes.

Guess who is staying put.

Filler Friday

Now, what does this remind me of... ?

It reminds me of fuzzy screencaps from Happy Gilmore!

Matt Greene: 237 lbs / 107.5 kg

Erik Ersberg: 165 lbs / 74.84kg

Since Budweiser is now owned by Belgians, not to mention just plain bad. I recommend the following:

North to the future!

Own it.

Your moment of Zen:

Last night I dreamt of San Pedro?

Who wants to go to Edmonton?

With your host: Derek Armstrong!

DEREK ARMSTRONG: Hello, and welcome to our annual episode of "Who wants to go to Edmonton?" I'm your host, Derek Armstrong. Let's introduce this year's contestants. First is Teddy Purcell.
TEDDY PURCELL: I… I don't understand. Are we going to be on TV?
ARMSTRONG: Shut up, Teddy. Next we have the designated Russian. A mystery wrapped in an enigma, Alexander Frolov.
ALEXANDER FROLOV: Please don't send me to the gulags. Please.
ARMSTRONG: Finally, former first round draft pick, third overall, and media gadfly, Jack Johnson.
JACK JOHNSON: Screw you guys. Why the hell am I here?
ARMSTRONG: (laughs) Maybe you should—
JOHNSON: Shouldn't some one like Raitis be here?
ARMSTRONG: He is here. In our studio audience.
(Cut to empty audience except for Jarrett Stoll who is eating a burrito, and Raitis Ivanans who is reading Bridget Jones' Diary.)
RAITIS IVANANS: (waves copy of Bridget Jones wildly) Hey guys! You wanna go see Cats next week?
JOHNSON: Seriously?!
ARMSTRONG: (nervous laughter) You've met our contestants. Now onto our first trivia question. What year was the State of California… admitted to the Union? Americans are weird. Teddy?
PURCELL: Are you really going to send one of us to Edmonton?
ARMSTRONG: Edmonton, Calgary, Pittsburgh… they're all cold landlocked cities. Alex?
FROLOV: One-thousand eight-hundred fifty.
ARMSTRONG: You are… right! 50 points for Alex. Jack, what did you write?
JOHNSON: I wrote… "Suck it Army!"
ARMSTRONG: That would be funnier if you were Sean Connery.
JARRET STOLL: (throws popcorn) Booo! It's happy hour at Sharkeez right now!
ARMSTRONG: Our next trivia question—
JOHNSON: What happened to Teddy?



(cut to a lamp sitting on Teddy Purcell's podium)
ARMSTRONG: I have no idea what you're talking about. Ahem. Anyways, the next trivia question, what is your number. Just write the number that's on your jersey. Teddy?
(lamp sitting on podium)
ARMSTRONG: Teddy, you drew a picture of a log. I'm sorry, that is not a number.
JOHNSON: What? How did that lamp draw a picture of a log?!
ARMSTRONG: Alex? You wrote 24. You can actually write your number. That's 100 points for Mr. Frolov.
JOHNSON: Show off!
ARMSTRONG: Jack, you wrote, "Go Blue."
JOHNSON: Go blue!
ARMSTRONG: What does that even mean?
FROLOV: In Soviet Russia the only blue we had was that of frozen flesh after somebody die in the river.
ARMSTRONG: That's disturbing, Fro. Our final challenge: Name something Oscar Moller can do better than you. Teddy?



(log sitting on podium)
ARMSTRONG: Teddy, you drew a heart. I suppose maybe Oscar can love better than you since you have no personality. I'll give you the 200 points.
IVANANS: Wooo! Go Teddy! After this we watch Degrassi The Next Generation, yes?
ARMSTRONG: Alex, you wrote "Be blonde." I guess since you are not blonde Oscar is better at being blonde. 200 points for Frolov.
FROLOV: No gulags?!
ARMSTRONG: I can't make any guarantees. Just for fun, let's see what Jack had to say — Jack, you drew a box of Summer's Eve feminine hygiene product. Judges?
STOLL: You suck!
IVANANS: No. Oscar is nice young man.
ARMSTRONG: I'm sorry, Jack, but the judges have spoken. I award you no points, and may the hockey gods have mercy on your soul.

(friendly glove tap to Loser Domi)